like a thief in the night, you’ll come riding on clouds

I want to work on my story, but I have no time! This and that, now and later, today and tomorrow, here and there, back and forth, same ole same ole. It never ends! What am I even doing? And what (or who) am I doing it for? When things get repetitive and busy, I get sad. I feel like I'm wasting time, or I am being lazy or something. Where's the joy?

1. I am a sinner. "For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing" (Rom. 7:18-19).
2. School is so exhausting. Pursuing Nursing is the most terrifying thing I've ever done.
3. Work is pretty much the same. It's not scary, but it can be pretty rough.
4. Papaw's mind has been taken over, and Mamaw is exhausted times a zillion.
5. I miss Hannah and my brother.
6. I feel incapable of accomplishing pretty much anything.
7. Mine and my parent's paths never seem to cross these days.
8. The future scares me. The What If's always find their way in.
9. Money is stupid.
10. Yada yada yada, on and on and on.

Wait a minute... Slow down. STOP. Be silent. Just listen...ears hearing, mouth closing. Here's the joy: Christ! I was an ENEMY of the CREATOR. I deserved His wrath and condemnation. I had no way of saving myself. But because of Jesus Christ's perfect life, His perfect love, and His perfect sacrifice, God's wrath was satisfied through Jesus' death on the Cross. God, my Father, adopted me into His kingdom, His family. I HAVE SO MUCH TO BE JOYFUL AND EXCITED ABOUT. God has blessed me incredibly. I have so much, and I hold on to it all...and complain about it! (Father, help me let it all go and serve others!) I have a wonderful family. I have such dear friends. Booher & Hannah. Always. I have such strong and loving sisters and brothers in the beautiful body of Christ. I have Jess, the most incredible best friend, protector, lover, and helper I could ever ask for. And best of all: Christ is returning! He is coming for His bride, His church! The beautiful day is drawing near. I want to anticipate it more and more every day.

Good People. Good Music.

6+4=10

"Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire."

-Hebrews 12:28-29

Right now, in this moment, I am thinking about:

• Christopher O'Riley- Like Spinning Plates
• My completed art paper on American Gothic (Hooray!)
• Booher. I like her. I slept in her bed last night.
• I really hope I don't have to work this evening.
• Jess. I like him too.
• Well, now Coldplay- Don't Panic
• Finals are next week!
• I need to get in the Word.
• Today is Tuesday. Tomorrow is Wednesday :)
• Radiohead! All I Need.
• I am wasting time.
• I like having a Macbook.
• The sun is out. Mmmm.
• Hannah needs to come bake a giant cupcake with me.
• She doesn't love me anymore. Sad face.
• 12:51
• 19 in 18 days!!
• Tope will be 17 in 9 days I believe.
• And Jake will be 22 in 8 days.
• And Jess will be 18 in 26 days.
• Haha!
• Birthdays.
• Shannon Wright- With Closed Eyes
• Years ago Dylan said it sounds like Godzilla should be raiding a city along with it.
• Ohh Dyl. Miss him.
• My life has become...odd.
• But good. Very good. Just weird.
• I want to watch the Aristocats!
• Sigur Ros- Di Do
• Time for lunch!
• K bye!

aha.

i am worn out.

can i get a time out?

or better yet...Christ, please just come.

i long for Your return.

but im an ignorant slacker.

im not eagerly anticipating as i should.

i love someone.

(although my "feelings" are somewhat faulty)

and someone loves me good. so good.

i know, right. who would have ever thought.

it's all very unfamiliar to me.

or maybe just distant, i dont know.

i think i know what to do with the past.

and the future...yeah, it's coming.

but right now: ah, the present is a trickster.

k. i'll stop being annoying and vague now.

I'ma tree.

I was made to be shattered, and shattered to be made concrete

Firmly made anew to grow, and grown to eagerly branch out

Meekly branching out to expose my leaves to the Sun

And fasten my limbs tightly to my fellow trees around

Together we stand in the course of sunny days and angry gales,

Freely giving of our fruit to the hungry who come along

They take refuge at our roots, in our cooling shade

Seizing the humble serenity and marveling at the Sun

We whisper tales of our beginning, travels, and anticipation

Until the axe says, "I'm sorry, but I'm the true shining light."

I cry, “No, axe, it’s not you, it’s not me. I’ll boast only in the Sun.

I will not bow down to any other; you’ll just have to cut me down.”

James 1:27

Two Sundays ago, I visited the Church at Brook Hills in Birmingham, Alabama. I was completely in awe at their family of faith's steadfast endeavor to please our living God. In the past two weeks my mind has been consumed with a three minute side note, David Platt, the pastor, mentioned. “Our families have signed up for foster care classes, and when we’re through, there will be no more orphans in Birmingham.” This concept isn’t abnormal to them, they acknowledged the command of God to take care of widows and orphans in their affliction, and they did something about it. WHY IS THIS NOT HAPPENING EVERYWHERE? We’re all in our own homes taking care of ourselves and our loved ones and merely “praying” for those in need. NOTHING is being done, and that shatters, disturbs, and severs me inside and out. But praise God for what this church has done. I can assertively say that God is pleased with them, and He will forever be glorified in their sacrifice.
Following Jesus Christ is to the extreme, black and white, all or nothing. Therefore I’m not going to let the Enemy distract me from another God-given task that has been given unto me. My mom has been a social worker for over 25 years, and she also teaches foster/adopt classes for Spalding County and five surrounding counties. In the past she’s been to churches in the area pleading for them to give her families to teach so the children would have a home, but no church body has ever taken the plunge. Fostering a child is not financially demanding; the government reimburses you for the children’s needs. All these kids need is time and love in their time of affliction. Time and love, two things Christians are supposed to have to give. My mom told me that a good number of her foster parents are unbelievers. forrealwhyarethelostdoingourjob??? When I told her what has been on my mind lately, she was overwhelmed with joy. I’ve met with various people, thinking they would throw reality at me and keep me from doing my part, but gratefully, God has prevented any discouragement. I’m meeting with Fred Thompson, the pastor of Mt. Gilead Church tomorrow with the intent of taking this to the Church. It has to be done. I don’t exactly understand what God’s getting me into, but it just makes sense. Let it burden your heart, it should.

"...they walk in all humility and kindness, and falsehood is not found among them, and they love one another: and from the widows they do not turn away their countenance: and they rescue the orphan from him who does him violence: and he who has gives to him who has not, without grudging; and when they see the stranger they bring him to their dwellings, and rejoice over him as over a true brother; for they do not call brothers those who are after the flesh, but those who are in the spirit and in God: but when one of their poor passes away from the world, and any of them sees him, then he provides for his burial according to his ability; and if they hear that any of their number is imprisoned or oppressed for the name of their Messiah, all of them provide for his needs, and if it is possible that he may be delivered, they deliver him. And if there is among them a man that is poor or needy, and they have not an abundance of necessaries, they fast two or three days that they may supply the needy with their necessary food."
-Aristides 125 A.D.

"Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world."