like a thief in the night, you’ll come riding on clouds

I want to work on my story, but I have no time! This and that, now and later, today and tomorrow, here and there, back and forth, same ole same ole. It never ends! What am I even doing? And what (or who) am I doing it for? When things get repetitive and busy, I get sad. I feel like I'm wasting time, or I am being lazy or something. Where's the joy?

1. I am a sinner. "For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing" (Rom. 7:18-19).
2. School is so exhausting. Pursuing Nursing is the most terrifying thing I've ever done.
3. Work is pretty much the same. It's not scary, but it can be pretty rough.
4. Papaw's mind has been taken over, and Mamaw is exhausted times a zillion.
5. I miss Hannah and my brother.
6. I feel incapable of accomplishing pretty much anything.
7. Mine and my parent's paths never seem to cross these days.
8. The future scares me. The What If's always find their way in.
9. Money is stupid.
10. Yada yada yada, on and on and on.

Wait a minute... Slow down. STOP. Be silent. Just listen...ears hearing, mouth closing. Here's the joy: Christ! I was an ENEMY of the CREATOR. I deserved His wrath and condemnation. I had no way of saving myself. But because of Jesus Christ's perfect life, His perfect love, and His perfect sacrifice, God's wrath was satisfied through Jesus' death on the Cross. God, my Father, adopted me into His kingdom, His family. I HAVE SO MUCH TO BE JOYFUL AND EXCITED ABOUT. God has blessed me incredibly. I have so much, and I hold on to it all...and complain about it! (Father, help me let it all go and serve others!) I have a wonderful family. I have such dear friends. Booher & Hannah. Always. I have such strong and loving sisters and brothers in the beautiful body of Christ. I have Jess, the most incredible best friend, protector, lover, and helper I could ever ask for. And best of all: Christ is returning! He is coming for His bride, His church! The beautiful day is drawing near. I want to anticipate it more and more every day.

Good People. Good Music.

6+4=10

"Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire."

-Hebrews 12:28-29

Right now, in this moment, I am thinking about:

• Christopher O'Riley- Like Spinning Plates
• My completed art paper on American Gothic (Hooray!)
• Booher. I like her. I slept in her bed last night.
• I really hope I don't have to work this evening.
• Jess. I like him too.
• Well, now Coldplay- Don't Panic
• Finals are next week!
• I need to get in the Word.
• Today is Tuesday. Tomorrow is Wednesday :)
• Radiohead! All I Need.
• I am wasting time.
• I like having a Macbook.
• The sun is out. Mmmm.
• Hannah needs to come bake a giant cupcake with me.
• She doesn't love me anymore. Sad face.
• 12:51
• 19 in 18 days!!
• Tope will be 17 in 9 days I believe.
• And Jake will be 22 in 8 days.
• And Jess will be 18 in 26 days.
• Haha!
• Birthdays.
• Shannon Wright- With Closed Eyes
• Years ago Dylan said it sounds like Godzilla should be raiding a city along with it.
• Ohh Dyl. Miss him.
• My life has become...odd.
• But good. Very good. Just weird.
• I want to watch the Aristocats!
• Sigur Ros- Di Do
• Time for lunch!
• K bye!

aha.

i am worn out.

can i get a time out?

or better yet...Christ, please just come.

i long for Your return.

but im an ignorant slacker.

im not eagerly anticipating as i should.

i love someone.

(although my "feelings" are somewhat faulty)

and someone loves me good. so good.

i know, right. who would have ever thought.

it's all very unfamiliar to me.

or maybe just distant, i dont know.

i think i know what to do with the past.

and the future...yeah, it's coming.

but right now: ah, the present is a trickster.

k. i'll stop being annoying and vague now.