like a thief in the night, you’ll come riding on clouds

I want to work on my story, but I have no time! This and that, now and later, today and tomorrow, here and there, back and forth, same ole same ole. It never ends! What am I even doing? And what (or who) am I doing it for? When things get repetitive and busy, I get sad. I feel like I'm wasting time, or I am being lazy or something. Where's the joy?

1. I am a sinner. "For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing" (Rom. 7:18-19).
2. School is so exhausting. Pursuing Nursing is the most terrifying thing I've ever done.
3. Work is pretty much the same. It's not scary, but it can be pretty rough.
4. Papaw's mind has been taken over, and Mamaw is exhausted times a zillion.
5. I miss Hannah and my brother.
6. I feel incapable of accomplishing pretty much anything.
7. Mine and my parent's paths never seem to cross these days.
8. The future scares me. The What If's always find their way in.
9. Money is stupid.
10. Yada yada yada, on and on and on.

Wait a minute... Slow down. STOP. Be silent. Just listen...ears hearing, mouth closing. Here's the joy: Christ! I was an ENEMY of the CREATOR. I deserved His wrath and condemnation. I had no way of saving myself. But because of Jesus Christ's perfect life, His perfect love, and His perfect sacrifice, God's wrath was satisfied through Jesus' death on the Cross. God, my Father, adopted me into His kingdom, His family. I HAVE SO MUCH TO BE JOYFUL AND EXCITED ABOUT. God has blessed me incredibly. I have so much, and I hold on to it all...and complain about it! (Father, help me let it all go and serve others!) I have a wonderful family. I have such dear friends. Booher & Hannah. Always. I have such strong and loving sisters and brothers in the beautiful body of Christ. I have Jess, the most incredible best friend, protector, lover, and helper I could ever ask for. And best of all: Christ is returning! He is coming for His bride, His church! The beautiful day is drawing near. I want to anticipate it more and more every day.

Good People. Good Music.